Sometimes it isnt meant to be

If the choice is to end a previously good relationship, efforts should be made to end it amicably. Both individuals are then able to take the gained experiences and learn from them. There are ways of making the break up easier:

• Choose the right time and place – Choose a time and place where you have privacy to talk without interruptions.
• Be truthful – Whatever the reasons for the break-up, be very truthful about them.
• Be clear – It is important not to give mixed messages about getting back together in the future. Leave the future to the future!
• Be prepared – This may come as a surprise to the other person, be prepared for them to be shocked, upset or angry, also give them time to express how they feel.
• Grieve the loss – Allow some time to grieve in order to bring closure and be able to move on.
• Get support – Ending a relationship can be very distressing, but can be easier to manage with a close family member or friend to lean on.

If you are the person on the receiving side, here are some helpful tips that can aid you through this difficult time:

• Get support – Talk to people you trust about how you feel, whether it is family, friends or a professional advisor.
• Grieve the loss – Allow some personal time to grieve, and this may also mean not rushing into a new relationship.
• Do not manipulate – Do not make threats to try and make the other person stay, or try to take revenge.

The ending of a relationship is sometimes perceived as negative, especially when using words such as "dumped", "break up"and so on. However, it can be a positive move if it takes you out of a relationship that is filled with unhappiness, dishonesty and disrespect.

Life has not ended, it has only changed. What may be seen as an ending, may in actual fact be just the beginning!

If you have survived a broken relationship and wish to share your story to encourage others, please write in to writers@2as1.net.
2as1 can help you decide your 'next step'.

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