Relationship Patterns

Everyone has their own opinion, and view point on how and why they enter relationships. Writing about relationships brings out a very strange excitement, because all the memories old and new jump out and scream ‘me first’, ‘me first’, to tell their own tale. But with this Article, I want to express an interest on the basis, or foundations or the early stages of relationships, and where we sometimes can go wrong, not just as women, but as men too.


Emotions, relationships and thoughts are individual experiences. You may ask why I say this, when everyone suffers heartbreak and everyone falls in love, etc. Well, we all fall in love for different reasons, and we all have different moments behind closed doors too. Some endings in a relationship are the same as the next and the next, but the journey to mend a broken heart is different with each person. Many are lucky enough to take their relationships to the next level and live happily ever after, and some are unlucky, and keep searching for the ‘right’ match.


Before I continue, I want to remind everyone that ‘happiness is a journey and not a destination’. By this, I mean, instead of searching the end result, focus on the journey and how every moment, every step and every action counts towards the final curtain call.


Every one of us, young and old, with experience through the years, will develop a pattern in forming and bonding new relationships. Many of us tend to continue these patterns and be more habitual with the patterns as we get older, and somewhat wiser, but that is a topic for another day. When girl meets boy or boy meets girl, there’s so many different types of chemicals inside of us racing through our system, and not to mention hormones. When you’re young, nothing else matters, and nearly every boy or girl you meet is perfect, till you truly get to know them. The innocence of trust, faith, and hope, and the crazy emotions rushing through you and all the ‘dear diaries’ and ear whispers through friends, is all too familiar and these are patterns we start developing from a ‘young’ age.


As we get older, we become more set in our ways, and tend to label and paint each ‘man’, ‘woman’, with the same brush. Forgetting that everyone is an individual, and that your own pattern in life needs to change if things aren’t working out the way you’d like them to.


Most women tend to form these patterns, well, being the more emotional of the two species. I’ll number what I think are the ‘common’ patterns we follow and the few errors we make whilst doing this.

• Meeting a new guy.
• Instantly forming a relationship, intentionally or unintentionally.
• Reminding yourself continually that this time is different, that not all men are the same, and you make promises to yourself that you ‘usually’ just cannot keep.
• You start to realise similar traits from the ex or the ex ex and put doubts and insecurities ahead of your real emotions and thoughts.
• You drain yourself emotionally trying to work out where you going wrong, why is it going wrong and maybe this isn’t something you should continue etc.
• The drama queens that we are, we take the ‘giving up’ route.
• We spend hours, days, and months, either bringing ourselves down, or not realising where we went wrong and attracting negative energy.

The pattern above is a scenario I see with most women, myself included. Our key to becoming better within ourselves and with our relationships is to take a step back and realise that patterns need to be broken to encourage good and positive in our lives.


One of the errors listed, and a common female trait is the need to form an instant relationship. This is a subject that will be discussed on our next article and hopefully you understand what has been written so far. Maybe, take some time out to learn your own patterns and make a note of where you feel you going wrong. You’ll be surprised how easy it is to break the habits that stop you from enjoying a happy relationship.

Call us now on 0700 2222 700. Our 2as1 Advisors are ready to talk to you about your Relationship.