Balance, Work and Home

Many of us work hard at cramming a lot into our lives. It takes a skilful juggling act to manage work, home and family. New family-friendly government policies are in the pipeline, however it will take time before these are widely adopted. Follow these 'top tips' in getting a better balance in your life.

Never Assume. Make sharing the load an accepted part of daily life, rather than a problem, which always causes a row. The old chestnut of dishes is still a problem in many households. These steps can help you set up a fairer way of coping. Don't be afraid to ask for help, your partner and children aren't mind readers. Most people respond well if asked pleasantly. Don't snap, nag, or leave asking until you are at the end of your tether.

Decide together who will do what. Allow for preferences your partner may hate ironing, but be quite happy to shop or cook.

Do include the children. Even small ones can chip in, especially if they see helping as fun. Make it a regular routine for children to make their own beds, pack their lunchboxes (even if you make the sandwiches), and put their dirty clothes in the laundry basket. Remind them if they forget, rather than just doing it yourself with a long-suffering sigh.

Rotas can work, but set them up together, with everyone's agreement. Change the jobs round every so often, so people don't get bored. Children might enjoy keeping a chart with stars, or working for a small reward empty the bin every night for a week and get an extra half hour's television on Friday night.

Leave guilt behind. One person cannot do a paid job and keep an entire household up and running single-handed it just isn't possible.

Money matters. Shortage of cash is the trigger that sends many women back to work after their families arrive. But be realistic - once you are working, there will be less time for other jobs. It could be worthwhile spending some of your hard-earned pay to make your home life easier on items like cleaning help, investing in a dishwasher, and having shopping delivered instead of doing the supermarket run yourself. An ever-growing number of supermarkets offer delivery from orders placed by phone, or over the Internet.

Organise looking after the children. Like housework, children's practical needs can be organised using a list or rota, and getting everyone to help. Take time once a week to look at what's coming up, and work out who will drop and collect children from school, Brownies, judo lessons or whatever. Keep a day-to-day list of who needs what, and let older children sort out their own sports kits and lunches.

What children really want from their parents is time. For chatting, being together, or helping with homework. Try to organise your weekly working schedules so that at least one parent is with the children as often as possible. Aim for a minimum of one whole day each week when you are all together, and spend some of this time on a family activity it can be as simple as watching a video together, or taking a picnic to the park. When time is limited, spend it with the family rather than using it for routine housework. All of you will benefit.

Your working life. There are many reasons for having a job. Are you doing it mainly for the enjoyment it gives you, or a chance to socialise? Is money the driving force that keeps you working, or are you looking to build your career? Think about how well your current work meets your particular needs. If a change would be good, consider retraining now could give you more flexibility in years to come.

Is full-time work wearing you down? Get out your budgets, and look at alternatives. It might be worth doing fewer hours and taking a drop in salary in order to ease the stress. Shift work, part-time work or a job share might suit you better at the moment.

Could you work from home? For many hard-pressed women and men this sounds like the ideal solution, and it can work well. The downside is the loss of social contact, and the need to concentrate single-mindedly on work even when the family is around, making demands on you.

Manage your time. These simple but effective techniques for making the most of every minute.

Prioritise, what must be done, what should be done, and what you would like to do if you have a spare minute. Then tackle tasks in order of priority. Chart each person's daily activities using a wall calendar marked in different colours, so everyone can see at a glance what's happening.

Plan ahead. Do as much as you can the night before: make packed lunches, lay out clothes, organise items needed next day.

Complete tasks in one go whenever you can. Things that you leave until 'later' often don't get done at all.

Learn to delegate. Don't attempt to do everything yourself.

Finding time for you. Amidst all the organising you do of other people's lives, remember to programme in some time for yourself. This is not an indulgent luxury.

You need time to recharge your batteries and enjoy yourself so you don't end up worn to a frazzle.

Write a list of all the things you would like to do. Include hobbies and interests, friendships, family matters, pure relaxation. Then write one or two of them into your diary every single week and make sure you do them. It may sound crazy to put 'have long bath' at 8pm on a Wednesday, but it really can work.

Do the same for time spent with your partner. Schedule it in and keep it sacrosanct. Whether you pop out for a drink, rent a video or go to bed early together do it, and do it often.

You can make the balancing act easier with good organisation, and by deciding where your priorities truly lie. Don't make a martyr of yourself no one will thank you for it. Instead, aim to work with your partner and family to get the boring jobs out of the way. That way you'll have more time to spend enjoying everything life has to offer.